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steph

Aug. 10th, 2012 08:43 am

I see this quote: If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present for my success. And I extend that to, if you weren't there for my marriage and pregnancy, don't expect to be there for my daughter's life. Don't go calling yourself auntie, we don't need a dysfunctional family like that. While I'm finally happy, excited, ecstatic about this change in my life, it's taken me a long time to get to that place. I lost a job that was my world that I'd been at for almost 5 years, got married, and got pregnant within a month and a half. I'm only 23, how can you expect me to not have a mini-identity crisis? And to blow me off because of your own personal problems, not talk to me or ask me how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, if I need any help. To blow off my anger, to credit it all to hormones, to discredit literally every decision I've made about childcare...no. I love my daughter. I love her as much as I love my husband, my parents, my stepson, my sister. But depression during pregnancy is a real thing, it's not just hormones, it's worry about your baby, your family dynamic, your older kids, your marriage, and of course, money. Its anger and sadness and hate and resentment, it doesn't all make sense. But it's a good thing, too, because it takes off the blinders and helps you realize who your friends are. And generally your real friends notice when you're sinking this low. But to say "ohhhh, it'll all get better when the baby comes, everything will be okay"...yeah, how? It's gonna be less sleep and even less money. But it somehow will be okay, because our little family will have grown, and the love I have for her has made me realize, If you don't think me good enough to be a fixture in your life, my husband and I certainly don't think you're even close to good enough to be in our children's.

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Oct. 1st, 2008 01:03 pm

Can't resist Mesquite, i'm in Spokane and I'm going back. Life's been crazy. I've got a boyfriend these days and I'm crazy about him. I love this apartment, like the state, don't like the city, hate the job. Kiona had cancer and at the recommendation of three vets, I had her put to sleep on August 20. Rest in peace, my love. lizblackdog, I love your Spike posts more than anything now, whether I'm commenting or not.

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Jul. 14th, 2008 11:33 pm

I am still alive, if you can believe it.

Wall-E is way cute. I work in the Walmart photo lab now, I'm not a cashier, I love it so. My town is ridiculous. For the first time, including nights and early mornings, in three months, it's only 77 degrees. Catch? 89% humidity!

I'm moving to where there are seasons, though. There's this lovely city I'm sure you've heard of, Spokane, Washington. It's beautiful, with seasons. The sales tax is crazy, but no income, and, hey, Canada! Kiki senses there is something going on, and she's driving me nuts lately, but oh my god, that dog is amazing. She drinks water like it's going out of style, she can go through 6 bowls a day. Which is part of what's driving me nuts.

Anyway, plans for Spokane are as such: transfer Walmarts, work a lot, get a second & maybe even third job, go to school.

Oh, and my sister is married now!

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Apr. 28th, 2008 11:33 am

I am ridiculously excited. Dogfood is on sale, the 40lb bags are $14.00 less than usual, and I have a $5 off coupon, so I have 80lbs of dogfood for the price of 50lbs.

Unfortunately, I can't pick it up, as I've had a god awful case of sciatica for the past 2 weeks. I can't walk the dog, I can't bend over, this is the first time I've sat down in a week & a half. I need to get a cortisone shot in my back and eventually I'm going to need some hardcore physical therapy.

But! Dog food is on sale, and I'm still alive.

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic

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Apr. 4th, 2008 10:10 am

As for my last entry this is the Sammy with the rank farts that don't smells as bad as my medicine. I'm fostering the little beast. She is crazy, she's driving the cats and the Keek crazy, she tears up trash, poops on the rug, eats ribbons, chases her tail, catches it, and keeps running in circles.

I love puppies <3

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Apr. 4th, 2008 09:50 am

Christ on a pogo stick, FUCK sinus infections. Yeah, my ear is killing me so bad that I'd rather my head explode. And that REALLY SUCKS. But. I have to take this antibiotic, and I swear they smell worse than Sammie farts, but I just took one, and I burped. With my mouth open. And it was DUSTY. What the ever loving FUCK. I just burped dust! I hate Keflex and its generic.

Current Mood: sickdisgusted

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Mar. 7th, 2008 06:06 pm


:DCollapse )

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Jan. 29th, 2008 10:34 pm Dear sirs at work!

Yes, thank you. I'm aware that the green phallic vegetables at work are cucumbers. However, you picked the only three in the store that don't have stickers for the PLU codes. So, when I'm looking at the chart, you do not need to tell me "Those are cucumbers." I'm not matching, finding the picture and then finding out what it's called, I'm looking for a number. Thanks though.

Also, no, I can't sell you alcohol. Yup, I'm underage, and as much as I'd love to, I can't get my TAM card. I really am sorry, and I know, it isn't fun waiting for the manager. But really, using every cussword in the book, hollering so loud everyone in five lanes can hear you, and calling us a bunch of incompetent assholes and threatening to never come back isn't making the manager come any faster.

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Jan. 23rd, 2008 09:30 am

Got me a job at Walmart. My hours are crazy, I'm working mostly 2nd shift, but like, today, I'm working 12-9, and tomorrow I'm working 8 to 5. Buh? I'll get like 5 hours of sleep. But I'm making 7.70 an hour. This is neat. BUT! After 7, you get paid an extra dollar an hour, and on Sundays, you get another extra dollar an hour (so, 8.70 an hour) This is very cool.

But my sponsor (trainer) was right on my ass all day, and I was getting claustrophobic. So, I hit enter instead of cash for like the 20th time and she chewed me out and I had this total breakdown.

My uniform is great, though. I think this job will be keepable, once I have my register to myself.

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Jan. 18th, 2008 08:36 pm asdfghjjk@!ihery@!!

Dammit, no. I don't "need to get laid" I don't need a boyfriend. I don't need to go to singles ward, and no, I don't need you to hook me up with a friend of your friend. Dammit. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off

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